Our Family History
The Genealogy of the Story Family
David Bethell Everett Douglas-Withers
1926 - 1991 (64 years)
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David Douglas-Withers - Letters 1941
Mainly between David's father and his housemaster at Eton
FROM H.K. MARSDEN. ETON COLLEGE, WINDSOR. TEL WINDSOR 20
April 4 1941
Dear Douglas-Withers
I have had several letters from you lately, but have answered mostly via David, and I hope that he arrived home in time. You noticed the death of Dawkins the other day; he was here only a year before David came, and he is, I regret to say, the fourth that I have lost in this war: the schoolmaster is hit by wars almost more than the father, but this war is not as yet so bad as the last one, where you might see half a dozen names in the same casualty list.
There is an undercurrent in David's reports about his muddles. I have no doubt of his keenness and efforts, but they do not bear the fruit that they deserve, partly from undue haste, partly from untidy habits, both in mind and on paper: but he has not done at all badly; his Trials show an advanced on last half, which would have been much greater but for a collapse in Science; his reports are quite pleasant, even in his Greek, and he has given no trouble during the half.
He has played a good deal of fives and squash, but next half will give him his scope: he must not take on more coxing than he can manage, or both his work and his own enjoyment will suffer: but he has proved his competence in this sphere, and if he never grows I should not be at all surprised to see him eventually coxing the VIII.
You may or may not have heard that I have had a certain amount of "moral" trouble among the lower boys, and have actually had to get rid of a boy: David was in no way concerned, but I have taken the opportunity to put him wise about the complete " facts of nature". The affair was something of an upheaval, and to some extent upset the equilibrium of the lower boys for a week or two.
David, to my mind knows his way about, and I have no qualms in respect of him: he is full of occupation, more or less sensible ones too, and he seems to move in a healthy and sensible milieu; they seem to like him and he impresses me having a good deal of character, as well as courage.
Shall we see you down here in the Summer?
Yours sincerely
Marsden
FROM H.K. MARSDEN. ETON COLLEGE, WINDSOR. TEL WINDSOR 20
July 29 1941
Dear Douglas-Withers
David gets quite good reports all round and it is evident that he has been putting his back into his work, as into everything else: his performance in Trials is on much the same level as last half, and as a matter of fact not many boys have improved on their standard. That being said, there is not much to add to what I enclose: what is a little remarkable is that he came here knowing absolutely no Mathematics, started in the bottom set, and has steadily risen to the top one, where he is only just afloat.
Just as in the winter, his larger friends had an exciting time with their football, that said he has had his fill of occupation on the river: he has done a certain amount of sculling but his size prevents him from doing anything in competition, and he has chiefly been out on his own; and apart from this, his time has been fully occupied in coxing a succession of boats, ending up with the House IV which eventually won. I think he has considerable talent at this job, and he steered a beautiful course in the race: moreover, he is so full of " beans" that he keeps his crew of 17-18 year olds quite in order, and they will take it from him. I'm sorry that he gets nothing but reflected glory from the success, but I think he may well have a future at the job, and he might even cox the VIII.
In the house he gives no trouble and does his tasks with a minimum of fuss: he is very able to look off to himself, and gets on well with all the others: he gives me the impression of being very busy and very happy, but you'll find him a bit tired with the excitements and tension of the last week.
He is a good boy and I'm very glad that he came here.
The question of confirmation arises at this stage: he is ceasing to be a lower boy and our annual service takes place in December, so that I am raising the matter so that it shall not go by default: but this is a personal and family concern, and I have no idea what you (and he) feel about it: personally I think he could well wait a year yet but though small, he is not particularly young in mind or body.
Yours sincerely
Marsden
The Moat House
Lymm. 3-8-41
Dear Marsden
Thank you very much for your letter sent with David's reports. To be quite frank we did not really expect any marked progress this half; we felt that the call of the river would be insistent and that his work, if it did not suffer could hardly be expected to get all the attention it should get. However he seems to have done well both in work and play and his reports are for us very pleasant reading.
I'm glad he's done so well with his coxing. It is some compensation for his smallness and he is I'm sure really keen on it. I have had several talks about it with him at different times and there is no doubt that he thinks it all out very carefully and appears to know what he's talking about. I know nothing about rowing and therefore have never been able to understand why the cox should be considered of such secondary importance. To me the responsibility seems a great one but as I have said I know nothing about the game and there it is.
John did a little coxing at Shrewsbury when he was on the small side. He was never a wet bob and never liked it. He used to say that it was " well rowed crew" if the boat won and " damn the cox" if it lost.
David has grown over an inch and quarter this last half. He has never grown as much in any term since he started school. He is certainly growng at present; his feet are larger and that is a sure sign.
It is very good to hear occasional remarks on David's courage. He has always been a courageous little chap and this aspect of his character was emphasized when he was at Bramcode on more than one occasion. I think that small people more often than not possess courage. It is perhaps Nature's compensating gift! He is a grand little companion at any time and I feel it acutely that heavy pressure of work here prevents me spending all the hours I should like with him.
There is no doubt that his heart belongs to Eton and we are consequently very happy about him and feel that we owe much to you and Miss Coward for all your care of him and to those who look after him in other ways.
I will let you know about his confirmation. I am rather inclined to wait another year in the hope that it may take place under happier circumstances. Who knows?
The Moat House
Lymm.
Cheshire.
Sept. 30th 41.
Dear Marsden
I meant to send you a line just before David's return but unfortunately I was feeling very much below the mark as I was just then recovering from a somewhat sudden and unexpected illness which I discovered in the course of time had been very much more serious than I realised. My wife and David were in Wales at the time and had to be hurriedly recalled (I was not aware of this and should never have allowed it) and that rather spoilt that part of David's holiday. I'm afraid he had a dullish time since apart from my illness I was kept in barracks all day and every day and saw little of him. I hope he's settling down in his new surroundings comfortably and will be able to tackle the work and keep his end up. I think he will miss being with Tait and indeed most of his former tutors but nevertheless will I hope settle down with his new ones.
As regards his confirmation we think we will wait a year unless he's anxious to be confirmed himself this year. He may feel that with other boys of his age being confirmed that he would not like to be a year behind. Perhaps you will have a talk with him for us. I should have done so before he left had I felt better. I did say a word or two but did not get down to it properly.
One other thing. I paid into your bank, a cheque dated October 3rd instead of the first day of the term. I should have written you about this before doing so but to be quite frank all my correspondence went west for the time being and some of it remained unopened until I felt like getting down to it. While I was laid up, the Paymaster suddenly produced income tax claims for each of the two last years, both for sums he had neglected to deduct from my pay. Not only had my I/T accounts for those two years been closed and settled but I had receive a rebate for each of them. The new demand was fairly considerable and add to that the unexpected cost of specialists, nurses, doctors and the usual expenses of an illness and you understand I had to sit back and adjust my budget. I chose October 3rd as that happens to be one of my dividend days. I hope the arrangement is satisfactory to you. I am sorry not to have written earlier about this.
I hope you will have a good half and no raids.
Dec 19 1941
Dear Douglas-Withers
I think you will be quite happy over David's reports again, and he has ended up with really rather a creditable performance in Trials: there are contrasts in the reports, but he gets quite a sympathetic and understanding line from Butterwick, though it is none too easy to read.
It has not been an eventful half for him: his football hardly exists a owing to his size and the fact that he is now just an Upper brings him into contact with boys twice his weight and height, among whom he can't expect to prosper at football. Nonetheless he finds quite sensible occupation playing squash etc. And his work has the less reason to be neglected; nor, indeed, is it.
In the house he gets on well enough: he has quite good friends and gives no trouble, and he gets a good press from his elders. Next half, I should not be surprised to see him start on a coxing career in earnest, but he cannot afford to put on much more weight, if it is to lead anywhere.
I think he is a boy of considerable character, with decided opinions, a good deal of determination and fairly high standards of conduct and attainment: his mind is easily muddled, his writing does not help, he likes to take his time over things, but I think that he has quite a good headpiece, and he shows up better as an individual than he does on paper. He shows every prospect of turning out a good citizen, and he is a useful person to have about the house, even if he does not exert any conscious influence.
Yours sincerely
Marsden
| Owner of original | Myles |
| Date | 1941 |
| Linked to | David Bethell Everett Douglas-Withers |
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